Thank God it is Friday, and the Friday before a long weekend nonetheless. This has been one of those long weeks and no doubt today is going to drag out like your Grandma's boobs when freed from the shackles of her bra.
So we were meant to go away this weekend as it is more than likely the last time we would be able to escape before the baby arrives, unfortunately, the stars aligned and our plans were brought to a grinding halt by an injured Squeak. What happened was basically his tail wasn't working and it just hung like a flaccid piece of hairy meat, which reminds me Happy Birthday Dodgy. Anyway, we took him to the vet and this young Asian dude tells us that it is broken or fractured but he will X-Ray in the morning and best case scenario would be an amputated tail, worst case would by euthanasia. Needless to say it wasn't the happiest night at home. The next day I get a call saying the X-Rays have shown it is just an abscess and all we need is a drain and we can pick up squeak that afternoon tail n' all. Now I am no animal professional but I got to say we were pissed at the first vet. He had instantly jumped to the conclusion that it was broken without even considering other options and when I expressed this to the head vet the next day he was more than apologetic, but hey who knows maybe the Asian guy had a craving for fried cat's tail. Oh yes I went there, come on it was to easy not to. All in good fun.
Obviously this abscess came from the result of a fight but it got me thinking. Imagine if human beings fought like animals. On the news there would be reports showing mongrel mob and black power members clashing and trying to bite each other in the ass of outside nightclubs there would be guys with the collars popped and white snakeskin shoes rolling around on the ground trying to kick each other in the head with both legs. Damn it would make for great TV.
Keeping with that train of thought maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea if we were more like or pets. Life would be much more simplistic and I know I wouldn't mind being able to lick myself all over.
On a completely different note I was reading in the paper the other day that Eminem is about to make a come back. Personally I think this is fantastic news. I am not an avid hip hop listener by any stretch of the imagination but I truly respect this white man's talents plus if his comeback works out well it could be a great time for me to write, record and release a rap album to critical acclaim leading to millions of dollars, plenty of groupies and ten 'fresh whips' in my garage.
I think I am going to wrap this up before I ramble on about any more of my dreams and unveil another layer of my personality onion to the cyberworld. I mean I don't think we have been together enough for me to break out my fantasy involving high heels, jelly and a small Asian mistress called Wing Chow.
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