Pulled out the jammy, killed the punanny

In the words of Ice Cube, 'Today is a good day, I didn't even have to use my A.K'

Yep, my first day of Christmas holidays, which also coincides with my lovely wife's birthday. Sure she may be getting older but she is alright :)

Aside from spending the last week at work trying my hardest to look busy things have been going well. Baby is slowly starting to get into good sleeping and eating habits, although somedays she is as stubborn as a drunk donkey and will just stay awake for six hour runs. This is definitely a trait she has got from her mother's side. As for traits she has gotten from me, these are all the positive ones like her good looks and happy demeanor.

Before I wrap this up I was reading about a the guy who they believe killed John Walsh, host of America's Most Wanted, son 27 years ago. This dude, Otis Toole, had one seriously messed up life and when he teamed up with another nut case, Henry Lee Lucas, things turned into a kind of real life psycho film. Anyways, granted Toole was fucked from the outset but in comparison to Lucas he had everything. Amongst other things Lucas' father was a legless alcoholic & his mother was prostie who would turn tricks in from of her husband and son to make a few bucks.

Obviously these two are extreme examples of being screwed before you get a chance but it got me thinking of how some things can really fuck up a kid. Of course there are the obvious ones like drugs, abuse, gangs etc but there are also some things that may not be as obvious:

Growing up in the Woods. I dont know what it is but whenever you read about serial killers or harmless lunatics they have always grown up in a log cabin in some isolated location. This no doubt explains why so many psychos hunt their prey in forests.

Being super, super rich. Sure they are never left wanting for anything but truth be told no-one actually likes these people and probably have more negative voodoo thrown their way than a dude who takes Oprah's last donut

Having parents who listen to techno. What sort of a start to life is this. You spend nine months in the womb listening to the 'bass dropping hard and fast' and then when you finally escape this uterus torture cell you get driven round in a souped up Japenese import with 12 'mean az' subs, bro.

I am sure there are a heap more but I am tired and want to go have a beer so you figure out the rest.

Sweet dreams.

Nothing gets me off more than a stripper who cries during a lapdance

So last night I had a very fucked up dream, I cannot remember all of it however the part I do was absolutel gold...

I was driving my fire truck, my very own fire truck that I used for personal transport, down Fort Street in Auckland and I remember seeing some dude strolling into one of the many brothels down there. I remember having a chuckle to myself and thinking 'what a dirty guy' but not judging him too much because the sole reason I was down that way was to go to a strip joint right next door to the Police station to pay my monthly membership fee of $33.95.

So yeah, that's all I remember but if anyone can give me some sort of dream interpretation it would be great. PLUS if anyone knows where I can join a strip club for $33.95 a month please tell me that too.

Chur

Short and Sharp, just like my woohoo

Almost 2 weeks down in this fatherhood game and I must say things have been going pretty smoothly. There are obviously some occasions full of crying and frustration, and that is just Mere and Me (HAHAHA see what I did there, a Dad’s joke, bloody brilliant).

Anyways, in all seriousness life is good right now.

Aside from changing nappies and burping a small human being I am in my last week of work before my Christmas/New Years break which sees me away from the office for a little over 2 weeks. The screen printing gig is going well and I think each time I get a little bit better and the process becomes a little smoother.

Despite all of this goodness my brain is still a bit of a mess right now so I am going to call it a day and actually go do some work that pays.

Take care, and remember that ‘tis the season for excess and who are you to disobey the season

x