You know how everyone has at times had that feeling that they have been put on this earth for some greater good. It may be that you think your purpose in life is to save the whales or to find a cure for cancer or to somehow rid the world of those weird old dudes who sit in bus stops with their tally whackers out for the school girls to see. Either way, everyone at some point thinks they are here for something more than a normal life. Over the last two days I think I have discovered my calling in life and to be honest I don't think I am that comfortable with it...I may have been put on this earth to serve as the grim reaper of birds.
Let me explain. The last two days after work we have come home to find a live bird in our kitchen. Turns out our cats enjoy catching them, bringing them inside and then leaving them inside completely unharmed. Well the first bird was just a baby, not a feather on it, kind of looked like a naked mole rat with a beak. Unfortunately I didn't know where this bird came from so I had to do the most humane thing possible, I drowned it. Apparently it is not a bad way to go, so they say. I am not sure who they are but I am guessing it is someone who has drowned. Then, last night we came home to a full grown bird sitting in shock in a pot on our bench. If money gets any tighter this would have been great cos dinner prep would already have been done, luckily things aint that bad yet, plus we were going to my parents for dinner. Anyways, I had heard that putting birds in dark places helps them calm down so I moved the whole pot under a teas towel and put it under the house. The plan was to let the bird free when we got home from dinner. Well everything was going to plan, we ate dinner at Mum and Dad's, meatloaf you know, then when we got home the bird had disappeared. I thought that maybe it had escaped and was once again soaring through the sky with it's little bird buddies telling them about this great saviour on earth named Martin. Truth be told he had just jumped out of the pot into a container of screen printing emulsion, which to those who don't know is just like blue PVA glue. I tried in vain to clean the bird off but it was a lost cause and I had to pull out the bucket again.
Now the reason I am writing about this is not to brag about having a purpose is life but to offer this purpose to anyone who may want it. If this sounds like you then let me know you can be the new Grim Reaper of our feathered friends.
Aside from striking fear in winged creatures all over the world I have just been working hard this week, and sleeping a lot. Maybe it is my body trying to stock pile hours of sleep before the arrival of Baby or maybe I am just becoming lazier in my old age but either which way I am all for sleeping right now.
With bird slaying and sleeping taking up most of my free time I have had very little time to focus on reading. In fact, the last time I read any of my wife prescribed literature was a good month or so ago so maybe I should find some time this weekend or if anyone can summarise fatherhood in a few sentences I would be forever grateful.
With that I am off to eat some dinner and no doubt fall asleep on the couch....again.
Chur
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