Not all bacon is good for you

Holy heck in hell, it has been over a week since I updated this page with some of my literary genius and good time stories. Well I apologise, but I dont really feel sorry. it is one of those fake apologises that gets you out of trouble but the truth is you dont really care too much. You know the ones, like when you are standing in a crowded bar or something and as you walk past some hot girl you accidentally brush her butt or boobs, of course you apologise but inside you are racking up another few titty cricket runs.

Anyways, with my lack of updates you may think that I have been extremely busy and to some extent this is true but the real truth is I have just been too damn lazy to write anything. This is probably a good thing because between starting work at the crack of dawn, trying to lose some winter fat and creating my t-shirt empire my brain hasn't been able to function.

So yeah, life is good, Baby is coming along well and it could be any day now we have been told, any day now or four week away. Baby is locked and loaded.

Before I wrap this up, yeah I know this is a short post but hey a short one is better than nothing, insert joke here about a small wanger, I have noticed a lot of things pissing me off lately. I dont know if it is just that I am tired all the time but little shit is really bugging me so in an attempt to release my rage valve I am going to list some of the things and hope by sharing them with you it will transfer my hate of them to you.

- Emo Kids. For fucks sake I dont care about your hair, I dont care about your fucking horrible taste in music and if I see anymore of you hugging and acting 'alternative and wacky' I am going to cut your fucking heads off.

- The Edge. Not that i listen to this radio station but I have to see their crappy adverts and that is enough to enrage me.

- Helen Clark. Seriously, every time I hear this man/woman talk I cringe. Not only does she spit and slur like a drunken hobo but she does that annoying laughing thing whenever she is called on anything.

- Ellen Degeneres. So I had the displeasure of seeing her talk show when I was at home the other week. If I wanted to see some middle aged dyke dancing around I would head down to Showgirls, at least I could get a buzz on there making it more bearable.

- Drivers who can't merge. Like a zip motherfuckers! Like a zip!

- Kevin Bacon. Dude should have just given up after Footloose. Would have been better to go out on top Kevin.

Right that will do for now as I dont want to get to worked up but this list will be continued.